Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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