someone owes me an orgasm
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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