i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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