Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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