They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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