If i come over, it means nothing
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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