I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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