I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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