forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
