To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
