I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
