They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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