I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
