just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
