I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
