he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
