Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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