Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize