I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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