Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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