Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
