were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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