apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
