just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize