She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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