I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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