I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
