the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You may now shotgun with the bride
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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