I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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