I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
