I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
do nipples grow back?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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