i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
