I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize