I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
