If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
