Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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