are you still at the devil's house?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
