thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
