white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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