Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My friends, they love my intelligence
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
