I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
