that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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