how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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