Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
