I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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