bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
