just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
