Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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