Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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