I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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