we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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