Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
