she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
