Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
