talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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