when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
