We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
