Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
