her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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