Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
